Up until just a few days ago, I don’t think the topic of voyeurism ever crossed my mind. If it ever did, it was fleeting and not of much interest to me.
Until one day last week I was up in my skybox apartment and I noticed I was being watched. And it wasn’t just a quick peek. The little look at target from his cam was right on me following me as I moved around. I’m not some crazy privacy freak. I mean it is Second Life after all. Is anything we do here really private from watching eyes? So I decided to send him a friendly message saying hi and let him know that camming was not allowed here and that some people get really upset about it. He was apologetic in his response and we started chatting.
Over the course of a few days, we chatted, and eventually we ended up hanging out. I learned that he was a sub, collared to a mistress who basically controlled his SL. I’m not one to be judgmental but I was curious and our chats mostly consisted of me badgering him with questions and him explaining. I’m not going to try and say that I was totally innocent. I did change my clothes while he was watching. I am a stripper after all so being nude is not a big deal at all. Whatever. I dug out my old Xcite! Ass spanker from years ago and we just played around with it. It was just silly nonsense and we had some good laughs.
Until the next day I logged in to an angry message from his mistress accusing me of trying to steal her man and all hell broke loose. How was I supposed to know that he was her pet and that his collar reported everything said in local chat back to her? He was camming me! It’s not like I was looking to cause trouble. Although now I have to wonder if he was actively seeking trouble for some kind of thrill.
Anyway, long story short, she called me some nasty names, and she blocked him from sending and receiving i.m’s from me. This was days ago and they are still my neighbours. He is unable to message me and is still camming me. This whole situation could be easily solved. I could mute her. I could report him to the sim owner and get them kicked out. He could easily log onto an alt to message me but he hasn’t and at this point I don’t expect that he will.
All I can think of is that he enjoys this situation. Is there some kind of arousal happening from not being able to go anywhere, not being able to message me, but just watching when I am up in my skybox? Is it something about wanting something and not being able to have it?
I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this, mostly because I feel like I am getting something out of this situation too, but I can’t figure out what. It makes me wonder who is watching who? Who is longing for something they can’t have, something that is so close but just out of reach. I watch his name on my radar and I see his look at target on me and I continue with what I normally do while standing around in my skybox – changing my clothes, creating new outfits to wear to the clubs I work at, and chatting. Sometimes I get new sensual dances and try them out while naked, completely aware that I am being watched.
This morning I logged on quickly before leaving for work and I received a notice that my rental was about to expire. I was thinking about moving because I would like a place where I can change the radio stream. I could also get a place where camming is blocked. I’ve been looking around and I have a landmark in my inventory with available rentals.
I checked the time so as not to be late for work. I finished my cup of coffee and clicked the rental box and stared at the options available to me. ‘End Rental’ or “Pay Rent”. It would be so easy to put an end to this all right then and there.
I decided to stay and paid for another week. I logged out and headed out into the real world where I am just another person blending into the crowded streets of a big bustling city where nobody notices me or even cares to know my name.